So as I take these moments to reflect back on this summer and early fall I am reminded of one true thing. God is BIG, i am small. Coming out of a great school year last year I had everything. A great God, a girlfriend, great parents and grandparents, friends who cared and laughed all at the same time. But isn’t it funny that when you seem to have it all together, you knock yourself down because you think you could always use more, have more, or do more with life and it’s materialistic possessions and relationships of the great folks around you.
This early summer I became selfish (you’re sitting there thinking “ya we all are”) but this type of selfishness controlled me, my relationships, and my attitude in life. I was living a great Christian life all for myself. When God finally got through to me it was through reading His word and a book penned by Francis Chan titled Crazy Love. This title was recommended to me by two friends and mentors at BBC. Before I bought the book I was not looking forward to reading it because 1. I am not a huge fan of reading at all (ask my mother) 2. I was in fear of being convicted about my lifestyle (not that it was bad, but my attitude stunk). Then I started reading… and I got convicted immediately. Francis Chan writes about “lukewarm” Christians and if 1. They are even considered followers of Christ biblically and 2. What an individual’s heart/attitude looks like when that individual’s attitude is not focused on God. These next sayings rocked my life.
“Lukewarm people love God, but they do not love Him with all their heart, soul, and strength. They would be quick to assure you that they try to love God that much, but that sort of total devotion isn’t really possible for the average person; it’s only for pastors and missionaries and radicals.”
“Lukewarm people love others but do not seek to love others as much as they love themselves. Their love of others is typically focused on those who them in return, like family, friends, and others they know they connect with…”
Hit any buttons in your life yet? Those quotes and truths still convict me. Reading on in the book Francis Chan makes it clear and impressible to those “average people” that loving God to the fullest extent is not only achievable but highly recommended. Yes it includes giving things up. In my case it was ending a great, long relationship with my girlfriend. I was being selfish in the relationship and not being the Godly leader I was supposed to be; those two things in turn drew me away from God more and more. Ending an earthly dating relationship, though rough emotionally, is not the end of the world. For me it has MADE me rely more on God when those “bad” days hit. I now focus my attention and lay out my attitude of life towards him first then my family. Through all of my selfishness times this summer, God has prepared and re-molded my heart to reflect His glory to the rest of the people I come in contact with, Christ followers and non. As I continue in the calling of God in my life as a student, leader, and mentor at Baptist Bible College I will do as Paul says in Philippians 3:13- 14: Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
What a great goal and reminder that is to me and to you! May God bless!
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